Substance Abuser

First poem of 2016…starting off real great. Anyway, enjoy.


Every Time.
Every Time I establish a
mutual connection with another and
I open my heart to them and
they open theirs to me – I
can’t help but lose myself
over them – they
become an Obsession slowly
working its way through every
orifice in my brain –
Every Time I hope they
might be the one for me – not
to make me whole but to
connect – to make us
greater than we could
alone. Yet it seems
I Obsess over the disinterested –
I Obsess over the “I’m not ready” –
I Obsess over the happily mated – and
when quitting is an option another
Obsession appears and consumes
my heart – I remember
this behavior has burned away
inside me like acid – it has shoved
me close to death’s door. How do I
quit this behavior for good? Or
should I even quit the search – the
constant chasing of tails? Or maybe
jealousy is eating at me and
I’m afraid of being alone with no
companion. Perhaps my heart
is made of mercury – it
melts so easily – but it has
already melted.

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