How to Improve Safety Quality

An experimental poem in terms of the form: a mix between an ad and a poem on society.

Enjoy!


Before you enjoy your fresh cup of McDonald’s coffee, take note of the warnings on the lid and along the seam of the disposable cup. We serve our delicious coffee at 180o – 190o F, so that your joe on the go stays hotter, longer.

Since the Liebeck lawsuit and other related lawsuits, however, we have been forced to add instructional warnings on the cup.

They are as follows:

Keep cup secure in cup holder when inside a vehicle.
Only qualified personnel may fill cup, or add cream and/or sugar upon request.
Qualified personnel must be sure that lid is firmly secure on cup.
Do not microwave liquid in disposable cup.
Do not drink until liquid is lukewarm.
Do not drink and drive.
Do not drink.

We know you’re an idiot.
We know you’ll ignore these new warning labels
anyway. No one reads anymore.

We know you’ll be sitting in your car, your coffee
cup between your legs because there are no cup holders, the
lid mostly open, and rather than
adding your cream and sugar,
hot coffee gets all over your lap and singes your groin.
What else did you expect?

We know idiots like you will inherit the earth.
Your new cup is our company’s contribution
to idiot-proof the world. We should
enjoy our first-world pleasures safely
by not enjoying them at all.

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Spirit of a Big Cat

I am feline but
identify more with the
domesticated variety, yet
I find comfort knowing
I’m kin to the tigers
of East Asia; yet my
natural habitat is
far from tropical.
Some features of mine
have been cast out of the
natural gene pool – apparently
grey fur with green stripes,
blurred vision, an enlarged
heart full of love, and a
humanoid physique don’t
contribute to survivability

and reproduction for
my species; most of my kind
would rather copulate
with the same sex anyway.
There are so many of us

in the world – these
strange, colorful animals
more loving than humans –
canines, felines, ursines,
cervines, equines,
scalies, avians, marines,
sparkle dogs and sparkle cats,
unique hybrids from creative minds –
this was just how we were
created by our modern gods.
It’s good that we have

a capacity for compassion.
Nature –
society, humans –
can be unnecessarily
cruel.